making sense

hail. well met.
been gone a while again. gettting slack with my blogs. been neglecting my diarist's duties.
so here i am again. with some self-deprecating badinage about my shortcomings (or other people's, depending) and some knowing barbs about the activities of politicians. throw in a few desperate pleas for humanity to remember itself and you've got one of my blogs.
you may not even need to read on if you're an imaginative, caring person in your thirties. you may know what i'm going to say already. or you may be a bit of a dick in your thirties who no one really likes but you haven't noticed yet. i hope you don't know exactly what i'm going to say. then i would have to re-examine my life. but, since i'm not sure anyone actually reads this page, i shall begin.
i'm moving rooms over the next couple of days. this may sound completely uninspiring to you. perhaps it is. but... the point of it is... that i shall be sharing a room. at 36 years of age. that will be weird. it may well end up being horrible. or it may be great. or perhaps it will just be bearable. it remains to be seen. it may be only temporary anyway. the guy from whom we rent our apartment needs to move back in for 3 days a week as he needs to give his wife some space. perhaps, hopefully (for both groups), they will work everything out fairly soon. if not i guess i can stick it out for the summer and then try to find something else. but it does feel weird. a bit like being a kid again. the last time i shared a room was with my brother when he was homeless. he ended up staying a year and driving me to distraction. but such is life. and now another challenge comes. i'm not going to stress too much. i always do that only ot find things weren't so bad after all. but if it goes badly you can be sure it will be recorded for posterity in this very journal.
what else? i'm broke. i'm tempted to borrow money from the bank. i may well do so. perhaps even tomorrow, depending on the alacrity of a payment upon which i wait. did that make sense? it was meant to sound a bit archaic but may have just been a bit crap.
thursday i go to london. monday i go to france. for a week. on the riviera no less. i shall doubtless spend some time drinking red wine on the veranda and watching the sun set over the mediterranean. but afterwards back to normal. 'for these few weeks the cherry trees are in blossom. longer and we should not prize them so'. japanese. think about it. it means something.
and what is happening in this rather bizarre, sometimes frightening, sometimes exquisite world we inhabit?
they've released footage of the pentagon attack on sept 11th 2001. now, i'm not one to go for conspiracies. oh, sorry, yes i am, but i'm struggling to see the plane on that footage. surely there was more than one camera outside the heart of america's defence system? but the only one we have pictures from just shows a thin white line above the lawn and then an explosion. looked more like a missile to me. but it couldn't be, could it? hmmm. then we'd have to smell a rat and think the whole thing might not be what it seems. that might lead us to think that politcians lie to us to keep us down and keep themselves in control. it might make us think citizens could die so that powerful scammers can carry on playing their bloodthirsty games around the world. we couldn't think that. but maybe i'm wrong. about the plane, i mean, not the politicians.
but what are we ordinary people doing whilst our governments lie to us? we're using our time productively. we're doing things like this. i mean, this is civilisation. we go on about how the afghans treated the lion in kabul zoo but then this is what goes on at home. is it any less bad? ok, a lion's bigger and there aren't so many of them. but the people who do this are a product of the mighty machine we call western civilisation. so is this guy. now i know plenty of people in the developing world get up to bad things. but we call ourselves civilised. we are the 'developed' world. fuck that then. please do not develop into us. save yourselves now.
blair's talking shit again. actually i've just realised the word shit was redundant in that sentence. like a lot of people since bliar took over. he really is a smarmy worm. he's trying to hawk nuclear power again. this is while they stop iran from having it of course. i mean, why aren't we seeing this? we don't make the link. our brain's are so inactive, or obsessed with cheap tv. if blair was any kind of leader he'd be hooking up bio-ethanol plants. he'd be into some tesla stuff. but he isn't. he's too busy invading places and having holidays and juggling the careers of various fraudsters, philanderers and liars. he said this today - It would be damaging to this government's credibility if it were to pre-empt the conclusions of its own energy review, by making premature and insufficiently considered announcements on nuclear power - isn't it damaging to this government's credibility to pre-empt the findings of hans blix in iraq, making premature and insufficiently considered announcements on wmd's? oh, wait a minute, that would only make sense if the government had any credibility. there's four nice links for you there.
we are bored. we are too rich. even if we're not rich. that's why we get fat. that's why we take drugs. why we spend more on booze than we would need to feed the starving. that's why we beat each other up at football matches. it's why we need immigrant workers to do all the shitty jobs. we're dying inside. but we don't know what to do about it. we don't even know we're unhappy most of the time. we just think it's our natural state. we complain about immigration but we have a country with lots of money floating around and plenty of jobs if you're not too snobby about dirty work. but we'd rather fanny about on the dole having kids who sniff glue than get off our arse and make the world a better place. we have too much. i'd love to go on holiday to spain and see an indian family there, or some people from tanzania, or anywhere. not just fat lazy white europeans. no offence, i'm a slightly chubby white european myself. i just wonder how long we can maintain this house of cards we're living in. i don't mind roughing it a bit if it means we live in a more just world. and it is ending.
because we keep this system of voting for c_nts to rule us. instead of trying to find someone who's going to really give us some meaningful hope and show us how the world could be. but we'll probably find out the hard way. make hay while the sun shines.
stay beautiful
mr w

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