pensées

hello again

how are you all? i'm ok. had a few drinks the other night, for the first time in a while. felt pretty lethargic the following day. dunno, quite strange. can't decide with this whole drinking thing. haven't the self-control to limit myself, but sometimes i don't drink much anyway. but i can go for long periods without any. i just don't like having to write the next day off. i could live without it, i guess. tricky when everyone else drinks and it's so pervasive in our culture. i don't know. life will bring it's lessons anyway.
had some more thoughts on relationships. i'm trying being more forgiving. it works pretty well. obviously within reason, i wouldn't recommend someone staying with an abusive partner and endangering themselves. but sometimes you can blame the person just for being themselves. obviously that self is not fixed, just like your own. yours isn't fixed, believe me, you are constantly changing, even if you're trying to hang on to some idea you have of yourself. but anyway, forgive them, point out things where they may be going wrong, but do it from a position of love and offering freedom. if in the end you find you are incompatible with the person then you should both be free to say so. but in the meantime allow them to be themselves, and make them feel happy about their best sides. you could always be great friends, even if you break up.
i did another picture. not sure how much it looks like me. or the photograph from which the inspiration came. it partly reminds me of the style of ron lim who used to do the silver surfer cartoons back in the early 90's when it was rocking. haven't read it recently so i can't comment on its rockingness at present, but there were times i read it and had lost its way somewhat. hopefully that's been rectified by now. and when are marvel going to make it into a movie? i'll buff up if you give me the part.



'to me, my board!'.

what news? another horrible story of humanity's worst behaviour. you can't help wondering how it gets to this stage. i mean this guy was obviously incredibly, perhaps irreparably, f*cked up. but how come he's able to do this. the mother should have stopped him, you might say. but so many people are sheep these days. their humanity and connection to others and the world around them is getting eroded. more so in the west/'civilised' world, i think. i know people in the third world kill their babies. totally different reasons, but still horrible, unnecessary and wrong, but they don't stick their faces in fires and smash them up repeatedly. i'm not excusing any baby killings but torture to death is much much worse. but there are a lot of mentally ill people walking around at the moment. we live in a mentally ill world. there are so many things that we accept because we grow with them but if you look at them in a different way they are really messed up. people who speed along roads are mentally ill. they are, there is no need for it. the believe it's an adrenaline rush, maybe it is but they do it because they can't cope with life without it. racist people are mentally ill. it isn't their fault. whatever race they belong to, perhaps they were brought up that way, perhaps something happened and they went that way. however it was, they are dividing up the world and the universe in the wrong way. if you have political views about immigration, that's your business, but if you hate someone because of some idea you have about their racial origins then you are mentally ill. if you a violent man (or woman...) and go out looking for trouble, be it football hooliganism, happy slapping, anything, you are mentally ill. all of these people as far as i'm concerned have a good case for being sectioned under the mental health act. so many parts of our society are just totally ill. the emphasis is wrong. it's all greed and me me me. but occasionally people come along and try to change things. che guevara, jesus, etc. and look what happens to them. but don't give up. we can still win the fight. we can prove that we don't need competition. we can turn it around and stop living in a world where people are more interested in nicole richie's weight than the state of the oceans.
we can, should, must and will.

stay beautiful, my people.