pensées

hello again

how are you all? i'm ok. had a few drinks the other night, for the first time in a while. felt pretty lethargic the following day. dunno, quite strange. can't decide with this whole drinking thing. haven't the self-control to limit myself, but sometimes i don't drink much anyway. but i can go for long periods without any. i just don't like having to write the next day off. i could live without it, i guess. tricky when everyone else drinks and it's so pervasive in our culture. i don't know. life will bring it's lessons anyway.
had some more thoughts on relationships. i'm trying being more forgiving. it works pretty well. obviously within reason, i wouldn't recommend someone staying with an abusive partner and endangering themselves. but sometimes you can blame the person just for being themselves. obviously that self is not fixed, just like your own. yours isn't fixed, believe me, you are constantly changing, even if you're trying to hang on to some idea you have of yourself. but anyway, forgive them, point out things where they may be going wrong, but do it from a position of love and offering freedom. if in the end you find you are incompatible with the person then you should both be free to say so. but in the meantime allow them to be themselves, and make them feel happy about their best sides. you could always be great friends, even if you break up.
i did another picture. not sure how much it looks like me. or the photograph from which the inspiration came. it partly reminds me of the style of ron lim who used to do the silver surfer cartoons back in the early 90's when it was rocking. haven't read it recently so i can't comment on its rockingness at present, but there were times i read it and had lost its way somewhat. hopefully that's been rectified by now. and when are marvel going to make it into a movie? i'll buff up if you give me the part.



'to me, my board!'.

what news? another horrible story of humanity's worst behaviour. you can't help wondering how it gets to this stage. i mean this guy was obviously incredibly, perhaps irreparably, f*cked up. but how come he's able to do this. the mother should have stopped him, you might say. but so many people are sheep these days. their humanity and connection to others and the world around them is getting eroded. more so in the west/'civilised' world, i think. i know people in the third world kill their babies. totally different reasons, but still horrible, unnecessary and wrong, but they don't stick their faces in fires and smash them up repeatedly. i'm not excusing any baby killings but torture to death is much much worse. but there are a lot of mentally ill people walking around at the moment. we live in a mentally ill world. there are so many things that we accept because we grow with them but if you look at them in a different way they are really messed up. people who speed along roads are mentally ill. they are, there is no need for it. the believe it's an adrenaline rush, maybe it is but they do it because they can't cope with life without it. racist people are mentally ill. it isn't their fault. whatever race they belong to, perhaps they were brought up that way, perhaps something happened and they went that way. however it was, they are dividing up the world and the universe in the wrong way. if you have political views about immigration, that's your business, but if you hate someone because of some idea you have about their racial origins then you are mentally ill. if you a violent man (or woman...) and go out looking for trouble, be it football hooliganism, happy slapping, anything, you are mentally ill. all of these people as far as i'm concerned have a good case for being sectioned under the mental health act. so many parts of our society are just totally ill. the emphasis is wrong. it's all greed and me me me. but occasionally people come along and try to change things. che guevara, jesus, etc. and look what happens to them. but don't give up. we can still win the fight. we can prove that we don't need competition. we can turn it around and stop living in a world where people are more interested in nicole richie's weight than the state of the oceans.
we can, should, must and will.

stay beautiful, my people.

the return of the kid

good evening, you lovely b*stards.
been away a while. only managed one measly little post. otherwise engaged, otherwise i would have done it. was offline and in the country for a while. bunburying, as oscar wilde would have it. if only you knew...
so things have happened and life has moved on. i am having a (mid-life?) crisis. not sure where to turn in life. i never really am sure but i'm aware of the unsurety right now. and it's also a financially tricky one, potentially. but all things will turn themselves around one way or another.
i am thinking of cutting back on the ear-destroying life of the dj and finding gainful and rewarding employment that doesn't involve being shouted at by drunks at 4 in the morning. so i'm not going to become a taxi driver or work in a kebab shop either.
time to use my reputed (once upon a time at least) creativity. fingers crossed i will find something. i may have to take some other work in the meantime to supplement my income. we shall see.
i did that drawing above. any feedback welcome. apart from suggesting inserting it into some part of my body.
what's in the news. civil war in iraq. horrible. can't help wondering if it's begun by agents dressed as iraqis, like the time when some of them got arrested and then 'our boys' destroyed the prison so they could escape. anyway, just when the iraqis need each other more than ever it's all going off. and looking into the story about the disguised sas agents i came across this... the plot thickens. unless you knew how thick it was already. in which case you're probably part of a sinister, power-craving cabal of sick, rich people intenting on destroying all that is beautiful in humanity (and this is quite interesting too, a blogger's ideas about iraq etc).
if you are ready for a really horrible story click here. all i can think is that he didn't know she was going to die but still, an absolutely horrible story. just shows how selfishly obsessed we are these days.
ok, enough for now. got to split.
don't believe the hype. you're much better than that.

mr w

X

parallel universe

'dick' cheney shot his friend. why couldn't it be the other way around?
surely i'm not the only person wondering this.

peace and love, even to neo-cons. especially to neo-cons, they need it more.

mr w x

mad world

hello my lovelies.
how is the world with you? not too awful, i hope. bringing you some good things. fingers crossed and all that.
i'm fine. saw a movie tonight. GITMO. see it if you get a chance. fills you in on something of what's going/been going on at guantanamo bay. the place with the guys who are fighting for your freedom by locking people up without charge, with no regard to their human rights, subjecting them to torture etc. just so you know who the good guys are. worth seeing. and my friend k did the music.

some guys robbed a pub in england and the police took descriptions of one of them. the witnesses were shocked at the e-fit picture the cops came up with as apparently it didn't look like him. here it is.


police are looking for a man with a comedy nose, un-matching ears and a bit of carpet for a moustache. and doll's hair. i mean, what the f%ck is that? he shouldn't be too hard to spot if he looks like that though. yeah i can see what they meant, the witnesses, it doesn't look like anybody. is this how computers help the police? making these? i could do better on a zx81.

i want to write more about guantanamo bay but i'm quite tired. i have to mention in case i never come back to it, that there are mercenaries over there being employed by the west. no rules of engagement re: human rights etc. and they don't have to report the casualties if these guys die. they're using renegades to fight a dirty war because they can't win it fair and square. this is the price of freedom. freedom is the price of freedom. but as long as you think you're free it's ok. so if you hear about contractors dying in iraq it may well mean mercenaries. just so you know.

alright

signing off

love you all

mr west x

numbers

does anyone have any statistics on how much money the peoples of the 'civilized' world spend in an average weekend on booze? no offence intended, not implying none of us are civilised, just that i wonder where one draws the boundaries of civilisation. but it must be a huge amount of money. even just what london spends. never mind all the other cities. it's unbelievable. now, don't get me all wrong, i'm not hacking at you telling you not to drink, that's your own business. i can talk about my booze free life. actually, yes, i can, since it's my blog. but right now the point i'm making is how many problems we could solve if we just stayed in one weekend and gave that money to charity. and i'm not just talking about what others should be doing. i've got no money anyway, that's one reason why i'm not out drinking these days. i don't know, i was just thinking about it earlier. people happier in the rest of the world, us over here feeling like getting up in the morning. the sewage system having it easy for once. big idea. but i guess we need big ideas now, people saying 'why do we keep doing everything the same way?'. it's obviously not working as well as it might.

other stuff... all this crap with the embassies burning. some people in the muslim world didn't want their religion and culture to be associated with terrorism. so they had a huge demonstration and smashed up and set fire to some buildings. makes sense. hmmm.
now, i'm not religious but i think, and i'm sure i'm not alone, this has got a bit out of hand. if someone who is not a muslim decides to portray someone of whom they are not a devotee, what is wrong with that? i can understand we need to be aware of other people's sensitivities and some of the pictures went too far, but the idea that people who have absolutely no relation to a religion whatsoever should adhere to something as if they were a part of it strikes me as ridiculous. from the small research i've done there is nothing in the koran banning depictions of mohammed or allah. it is a muslim tradition however. but then taken literally there shouldn't be any depictions of any person or animal in muslim tradition as this is seen as idolatry. should we take all such pictures out of our art galleries as well? it just seems too much to ask. people in some countries eat animals that are kept as pets in other countries. but we don't have a problem about it as both sides understand that other people have different ways of doing things. this is the problem here. expecting other people to live your way. now i'm a big critic of the part the west often plays in the muslim/arab world but i think the leaders in many of those countries have work to do in terms of controlling those people that go around acting like maniacs over such matters. some of the pictures went too far, i agree. but the idea that they shouldn't be able to publish pictures of mohammed is just too much i think. i think press freedom sometimes goes in the wrong direction but in this case it has been blown out of all proportion, and burning embassies and boycotting goods is not the way to respond to the actions of a newspaper. i shudder to think where this will end. hopefully in greater understanding, but i don't know. at least the danish bacon industry won't notice any difference...
oh and those silly fellas from hizb-ut-tahrir shouting '7/7 on it's way' should be tickled to death, unless they renounce all stupidity from now on. after a good tickling, though. i'm not going to give a link to them as they've been naughty and should have their board-games confiscated.

so that's all for now.

oh, actually you should read damien hirst's book 'on the way to work'. it's very interesting reading. interviews. it's a bit like talking to your mad mate at the pub. familiar, scary, true and strangely nice.

learn to think that everything you think you know may be bollocks.

see you later

mr w

X

nuclear winter

hello lovers
how's things? y'alright?
i am, i'm pretty okay. i mean i'm good, as the americans say. i'm fine as us brits say. i'm pretty okay as us understaters say.
not much news in my life. snow everywhere here just now. f#cking beautiful and amazing but slippery. bit like myself when i was a young scamp. a young scampi. a young fry. scampi and fries. do you want that to go? no i want it to stay. but anyway, yes it's a symphony of white out there just now. weird thing, snow. you feel crap about that fact that it means it's freezing cold but that withered poet inside you who disappeared when you were about 14 still gets woken from his ancient sleep and his loins begin to stir and he dips his quill in the inkwell of life yet again and you almost believe he's worth listening to. until you turn on the telly and stare at someone's tits or wish you had a lot of money.
imagine if you had billions of dollars to spend. you'd look around the world deciding what to spend it on. poverty, eradicating disease, protecting the environment, food for the starving, weapons, wars... how can it be jusitified to spend 440 million dollars on wars? and they're not even winning them. don't they see if they spent a bit of money teaching countries how to support themselves and each other better that would have a knock-on effect that would improve things for everybody? wars haven't ended wars, they just engender more wars. why shouldn't the same be true of peace? let's give it a go. can't hurt to try it. even if it goes wrong it can't be any worse than it is now. crazy idea. peace is boring.
now the u.s. is playing tit-for-tat with chavez. he expelled a u.s. diplomat for spying, so now they've done the same. silly really but then what do you expect? silly little children playing silly little games. children would know better, sorry kids, no offence. i'm not 100% on chavez. it's tricky being 100% on people you have met, never mind ones you haven't, and even trickier with politicans anyway. but i am 0% on bush so i guess i'll lean to the left on this one. i know what the u.s. has got up to throughout latin america over the years and if venezuela does its own thing without u.s. intervention then i'm all for it.
then there's this nonsense.... that bush and blair had some meeting where they 'decided' they'd invade the oilfields, i mean iraq. like they hadn't been told to long before, if they even needed telling. f$cking hell, tell me something i don't know. two cynical pretend-christian western liars invade iraq and we're supposed to think it was something they sat down and discussed. they were told to by their bosses and did as ordered. end of story.
do you think bush could find iraq on a map? or even texas? just wondering.
so, dunno what else to bother you with. i painted that self-portrait at the top. good eh? maybe not. each to his own. i'm kind of getting back into painting. got my muse back since i stopped drinking. maybe you think it's crap. it might be, it might even be meant to be. i don't know.

well, give someone a hug today. even a stranger on the bus, or at least a smile. go on.

love you all, you sexy things

mr w

relationships and other troubles

there's not really much i can say about relationships that hasn't already been said. the easy ones never last but the difficult ones do.
i know it's all about learning about the other person and thereby learning about yourself. i just wonder where i got this knack of picking people who don't get me.
so i struggle on, trying to be vocal and clear and honest and yet i don't receive understanding for it. i have to repeat myself over and over again to a point where i feel bad for having my own opinion. and i should not feel that way. anyway, all this crap gives me a headache. stress which i don't need. now or ever. but i will soldier on in the vainglorious hope that things will improve. but you can't force a person to begin understanding. they have to do it of their own volition. and if that volition is not forthcoming then the stress ensues.
so right now i am concerned by nonsense. which is not really how i want to be. but i will let it pass. safe in the knowledge that i have my faults but i am ready to admit and rectify them.
please don't be influenced by any perceived negativity here. i hope your relationships are working well.

love