i'm back. this time it really has been ages.
lots has happened. not all of it good. some of it hideously fucking awful, to be honest. but some of it has been good. all of it has taught me something. consciously or otherwise.can't remember the date of my last post but i have a feeling it was early '07. i remember mentioning paul smith aftershave, which i bought in the sales last year. cheap bastard? probably. but what's the point of a sale, if not to encourage people to buy stuff they can't normally afford.
so, here i am, a year or so older. wiser perhaps in some ways. but wisdom is a work-in-progress, it doesn't end, you can have awakenings and see things clearly. happened to me once when i was walking home and no one was around. it was about 6am, and i was looking at trees and clouds and grass and i realised that everything is absolutely connected. i know it sounds a bit hippyish but it was so clear to me that we just think in terms of separation or separateness (if that's a word). and it's the thinking that is the separation, everything else just gets on with it. obviously in the animal kingdom there is some separation and it's probably similar to us in terms of it being a means of survival, but human beings don't just see ourselves as individuals trying to survive, often we actually think we're not part of everything else. like we're aliens. though there may be something in that also. perhaps we are. for discussion later perhaps.
some big stuff happened this year, one part very horrible, not gonna discuss that now. perhaps later, but all i will say is enjoy your folks while they're around. make the best of them and talk to them, because when they're gone, they're gone. don't leave things hanging. but at the same time, if you have people in your family who treat you like crap, over and over, and don't respond when you reach out, let them go. hard as it may be. don't close the door totally, be ready to be the bigger man (or woman...) but don't waste time hurting yourself with people who haven't got the emotional intelligence to see what's going on. but parents and grandparents, tell them that you love them, if you do. think about whether you do, chances are you do a bit at least. and tell them. because sometimes they go in a flash. ok, enough depressing stuff.what else is going on? still no wife. been running around with various women (women? girls? ladies? laydeez?) since last time. but still officially on my own. one thing i've learned. don't try to work it out with people who are much younger than you. it's fun in a way but ultimately it's going nowhere fast. the person can be really nice, of course, and that makes it more difficult. but if they're significantly younger, it ain't happening. i can't be discussing the finer points of britney spears career, no way jose. celebrities are a bunch of meaningless cunts. it's a game to stop you from thinking about the real world. when benazir bhutto gets blown up and you're seeing someone who's discussing britney's sisters pregnancy like it's actual news, it's time to hit the ejector seat. or the panic button. probably the ejector seat. your own ejector seat, of course.
so, yeah, the world is still a pretty messed up place. thanks to backward, religious people and mean, power-hungry politicians. they keep things as they are while the rest of us try to develop. but that doesn't mean we should give up. but in a world where even one person takes george bush seriously, never mind a whole country, it's a struggle. keep it up though, brothers and sisters.
so, anyway, that's about all for me right now. i'm gonna eat something and maybe try and get to yoga later. i'm not a hippy, honestly. but i'm trying to be more healthy. easier said than done.
ok, rock on, people.
love...
